My wonderful orchid

It's wonderful how this plant has sprung to life again.

The telephone!

I was sitting quite happily yesterday watching Doctors as I do most lunchtimes and the phone rang.  It was someone trying to sell me yet more advertising.  I've just put an advert in a local magazine to try and get some more business coming up to Christmas.  One of the most infuriating things that happen when you do this is other companies selling advertising ring you to tout for more business that you can't really afford.  So you are paying for other advertisers to ring you really!

One thing I've noticed these days is that no one and I mean no one ever asks if it's convenient to talk.  They just rush in with their sales pitch or questions.  You could be asleep, or having some food, or other activities that I'll leave to the readers imagination!

Part of my job is to ring my exisiting customers and book in a servicing for a house hold item.  I learned along time ago that it is only polite when you are ringing after six o clock in the evening to ask "Is it convenient to talk?".  Nine times out of ten it's okay and people are only to happy to take your call.  I've also now adopted this policy during the day time and found it works just as well.

Of course no one bothers to ask me if it's convenient to talk but I suppose that doesn't matter does it!

So people, as during troubled ecomonic times, peoples down time is becoming more precious, just adopt a little politeness and see how far it gets you.

Dogs dogs what would we all do without dogs...................

Something funny happened to me on the way to work one day.  I was walking over a bridge which goes over the railway line, when I nodded at a customer who I recognised from my parents business.  He nodded back and said "Hello darling".  I hadn't seen his mobile was glued to his ear so said "Beg your pardon?".

"Oh, sorry I'm just talking to the wife" he said somewhat sheepishly.  This caused much amusement when I arrived at work - I should also add that I'm 39 years old, male and straight!

Getting to the dogs issue - I renamed our part of town Dogsville.  My next door neighbour has two bratty dogs one called Willie (we think) which is an insult to men and the other called Nugget, which in my view is an insult  to the snooker player Steve Davis.  These two lunatics bark at anything from other dogs, bin men, postmen, window cleaners to fresh air.  If a cat goes by, flipping heck - They are driving me mental.

The problem is, these dogs don't doing anything remotely useful.  They don't have a responsible job, bills to pay, a mortgage.  They can't poo into a toilette or even take themselves for walks.  Someone else has to clean their business up and even give them a wash.  We have one company with a very smart looking van - Dial a dog wash, I mean please, give me strength.

Do Parrots adopt bees and take them for a walk, no they don't!

The thing is these dogs are now just a status symbol -  a way of showing off, I've got more money than you, more, I've got more money than sense.

I went out for a meal on my Birthday. One bloke had four dogs, greyhounds on leads, that is insane when I can barely afford myself.

So, why not get tread mills hooked up to our houses and let the dogs exercise for hours on end and give energy to power our houses, then at least apart from useful dogs like sheep dogs, sniffer dogs and guide dogs, they are not just lounging around doing begger all all day and night.

Lack of blogging

I've been busy of late, so have neglected this blog somewhat.  I'm trying to finish a short story, some of which I'll post in small extracts on here.   I'm aiming to have it finished by the end of the year.  I'll then have it read and published in both e-book format and printed format.

It's a strange thing this writing business.  I can go for days, even weeks without feeling any inspiration and then suddenly something will click, I'll see something on the television, or read a story.  I'm keeping the story I'm writing close to my chest for now, it has evolved over a number of years and had several rewrites, but I'm happy that the journey is nearing completion.

A nice quote for you.

"If life is not a great adventure, it is truly nothing!" Helen Keller (Think that is the correct spelling of the surname).

Obsession with ball games

Copyright Lancaster 2010, no part of this posting may be reproduced in any format without my written consent.

The human race worldwide seems to have an obsession with ball games.  It must have been invented by a very frustrated lady whose husband had multiple affairs, well, thats what I believe.  Let's take a look; there are snooker balls, billiard balls, pool balls, ping pong balls, cricket balls, table tennis balls, footballs, rugby balls, so what the hell is a shuttle cock!

As ITV seem rerunning The Roger Moore series of James Bond films I now spend my Saturday/Sunday afternoon's reading as I know most from memory.  I did notice a few cock ups in the Spy Who Loved Me.  Barbara Bach gets into the Lotus with a small lugauge bag, but then you don't see it again.  I also sat looking at the nuclear missile and began to think whoever intervented the horrible device had them shaped like a penis - trying to proove a point no doubt!

Copyright Lancaster 2010, no part of this posting may be reproduced in any format without my written consent. 

Allo Allo

One of my favourite television series when I was growing up was Allo Allo.  It still makes me laugh today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hfHyDSTX50

I wish the BBC would rerun the show, they put repeats on some Sunday's but not consistently, which is somewhat annoying.

FarmVille

I went back on FarmVille - Facebook last week to see if they had made any improvements.  There are some changes in the gameplay, but the most infuriating thing and probably the reason I stopped playing in the first place was having to manually harvest all your trees.  This does bring in money, but is time consuming and the right hand of my index finger starts to ache after quite a few clicks.  The other con is whereas for a while your fuel would recharge for your tractors and other motorized equipment.  Now unless your friends gift you fuel, you have to use FarmVille cash - which I really don't like doing.   So, after a short revival, I have decided not to bother anymore.

http://www.beatthosegames.com

A good web site.

My home in second life.

Had a wonderful weekend away down south.  Just got round to taking a snap shot of my home in Second Life.

Yes, that's me flying.  I did a daft thing the other day.  Thinking it was a quick way down -  I perched on the top of my chimney.  Then walked forward, only to find that as opposed to landing in my living room.  I was blocked off.  Needless to say Santa will have to deliver through the front door!

It's a very basic house and we are limited to 512 prims (Objects in SL are made up of prims).  No scripts are allowed in this region.   But it is a retreat, so will have to make do.

What - Star Trek as the A-Team

This is really funny  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyfhzqhJNbg  Had  me in histerics.

Quote from the film Gladiators 

Maximus:- Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!
[Cavalry laughs]

Maximus:- Brothers, what we do in life... echoes in eternity.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0172495/quotes

Mark Webber's F1 Crash from Valencia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jV0LaWqLlVo  scary stuff, now aren't you glad you just watch!

Sheryl Crow's new tunes.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid49545847001?bctid=102895821001

I really like the video, and Sheryl sounds great,  looking forward to buying the new album.

England embarrassment .

I am feeling more than a little gutted this morning, after the terrible performance from our England players yesterday.  I felt somewhat embarrassed to support the team.   As if it is not bad enough that these over paid players are earning in the region of fifty thousand pounds per week - more than I'll ever see in my life at this time.  They couldn't even get the defense correct with that long kick by the German goal keeper.  Where is or should I say was Rooney? Burned out after a successful season at Man Utd.  Gerard didn't really seem to inspire and there is no need to mention the goal that wasn't allowed and don't even mention the war!

Well folks, it seems we have one Prime Minister and a deputy running the country maybe the England team need to work that way.  Also, why should players get paid for playing for their country, they should do it free of charge as a matter of pride and honor and then maybe they would try harder.

It begs the point whether we should select and include players from Scotland, Ireland and Wales, then we will have a United Kingdom.

It is not only the fans here in UK I feel sorry for, who have spent money on flags and kit, etc.  The fans who have spent thousands on traveling to South Africa to support a team that has again disappointed.

We were also beaten by a German racing driver, so not a very good day all round.

Oh well, keep pouring the gin.

The Professionals Bloopers

Now this is funny http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXNJNTsuYQ4

Finally the camera batteries charged up.

The potatoes are coming on a treat.
























We have added some beans as well. 

Who Dares Wins

Who Dares Wins.

1982

This film is often only given a two star rating by critics.  With an all star cast ranging from the two leads Lewis Collins and Judy Davis, to Mr Equalizer himself Edward Woodward.  Peter Skellen is thrown out of the Special Air Service for  gross miss conduct.  This is just a cover to allow him to get close enough to members of The People's Lobby and prevent a major international incident.

Judy Davis plays one of the terrorists leaders, there is a constant hassle between the two main organisers of what they call the 'biggest coup this country will ever see' when Davis whose character is called Frankie Leith embarks on a relationship with Skellen.  Leith wants him to join their group after spending one night with him and learning that he is now ex-SAS, she believes they may need his expertise.

The Lobby plan to hold several US dignitaries hostage.  It's a race against time as Skellen juggles his personal life with his duties trying unsuccessfully not to get found out and remain under cover.

Rod Walker, Leith's partner has Skellen followed, and they learn about his wife and child, who they later take hostage to keep Skellen in line.

Overall, the plot goes off a bit in places, leading up to the killing of General Ira Potter and then the final raid.  

It is typical of the type of gung ho, kick arse programmes we saw in the eighties.  You get the feel that it is part Professionals and part the Sweney rolled inito one.   But you do get a sense of what the SAS is like, and that we should be very glad they are there and on our side.

Roy Budd composed the music, the sound track is here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD4GanOv-Ok

There is a good performance for the excellent Tony Doyle.  I found an interview with Lewis Collins here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OH8K2L-nLVo

One thing that always puzzles me is that if they know the main leaders of the group have already killed, for example one informant was killed at the beginning of the film, then Skellen's contact is killed, surely they would have arrested the main leaders.  Still, I suppose they wanted to get them all in one place.

Updates.

I signed in with the main aim today of posting a photograph of the growing vegetables in the family vegetable plot.  However, my camera's batteries have died, so whilst I wait for the two hours for them to charge up.  I'll get on with some blog work.

The thing I like about Doctors, is the show deals with medical issues as well as personal issues and relationships.  I've been watching for a good number of years now.  While the story lines can be quite outrageous at times, for example in the run up to Christmas 2009 when Jimmi Clay was taken hostage by the two Psycho's.  There is the on/off relationship between Daniel Granger and Zara Carmichael.  The practice manager Julia Parsons acts like a second mother to most of her staff.  The waste coat wearing Heston Carter and sexual innuendo stating Charlie Bradfield.

The two nurses Michelle and ever smiling Cherry Malone and also the two receptionists Ruth and Karen, then we have openly gay Doctor Simon Bond.

There was a cracking story line a while ago when Ruth took over Michelle's identity and ended up being sectioned, this story continued when someone she met in the treatment home called Smithy returned.

One thing that bothers me, is they leave most episodes open, you never know at the end whether people sort their health or personal problems out.  I wish when the series has a break they would have a show clearing up loose ends.

Another story line was the student who was messed up in the head and hell bent on revenge.  This was a week long story line which ended with a hostage situation and Sergeant Hollins coming to the rescue.

It's a good show where you can actually learn a thing or two.

What no Doctors ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Whilst I support England all the way, it is infuriating to a degree that the BBC in their wonderful wisdom drop Doctors from the programme schedules.  This is for a month because of the football and Wimbledon.  Now looking through the Radio Times as I do.   BBC Two is full of repeats, Ready, Steady, Cook and the likes, why couldn't Doctors be moved over for the duration of the cup and tennis.  This used to happen with neighbours, so much so, that until it was purchased by channel five we were nearly eighteen months behind in the plot - if there is really one!

We all no that the beeb ram tennis constantly down our throats for two weeks, so our favourite progs get dropped any way, what about BBC three, four and the HD channel? Surely someone with some sense can see that not everyone wants sport dominating their live 24/7, what we want is some form of escape from the hardship of living in the 21st Century.

Oh well, will have to get my soap fix from the other side.

Airwolf

One of the things I love talking about is television and movies. I remember the first television I had in my bedroom when I was very young was a black and white box that you had to tune in to watch anything. How things have changed!

My first viewing memories are of my father coming into the my room early one morning and putting the TV on so I could watch James Hunt win the formula one world championship way back in 1976. Then of course watching westerns in black and white before my parents could afford a colour television.

As I grew up in the eighties I have a great fondness of that era and the television series that were made. The A-Team, Airwolf, Knight Rider, Automan, Street Hawk, etc. I am going to add my thoughts about those shows we all enjoyed watching.

Also as I prepare my third television and movie themes album, I'll chat a little about my favourite films. and television shows in future blog postings. One of my more irritating habits is quoting from various films, some of which I have seen dozens of times over, most notably the James Bond films starring the suave and great actor Roger Moore. I have been known to annoy my parents when watching Moonraker and being able to join in with the lines.

We'll start with Airwolf. Naturally I saw the movie on a video and I fell in love with the series from then on, it was a must watch. The theme music was good and the way the cast seemed to gel together shone through onto the screen.

Airwolf the movie was excellent from start to finish. The film begins in the desert with the super helicopter being given a test flight by it's creator Dr Moffett in front of a senator, Moffett then promptly destroys the CIA mission control and steals the helicopter from under the Americans noses heading for Lybia and Gaddafi. Moffett and his two co pilots then run missions for Gaddafi, destroying the odd aircraft or two. In between times we are introduced to Michael Coldsmith Briggs III "Archangel" (Alex Cord) the head of so called dangerous missions for the CIA as he tries to persuade the only man aside of Moffett who has flown Airwolf - it's test pilot Stringfellow Hawke (Jan Michael Vincent) and Dominic Santini (Ernest Borgnine) We get a behind the scenes look at stunt filming as Hawke and Santini film a scene for a film. Only Hawke loses the job after "backing" a stroppy actor. There is a reference to the shows creator (Donald P Bellisario) -"The Bellisario job" on the flight back to Hawke's cabin set in beautiful surroundings. Archangle and Gabrielle arrive to try and persuade Hawke to rescue Airwolf in exchange for a million dollars. Hawke won't accept saying he'll do the job in exchange for the Firm finding his brother St John an MIA in Vietnam. Gabrielle is left to seduce Hawke. Things hot up when Moffett attacks an American destoryer and Hawke's art collection is taken.

Hawke then accepts the mission, on his way learning that Angela his contact has been murdered. He also learns that Gabrielle has been sent ahead. In the meantime the Firm has no idea that Santini is backing Hawke. The two find Airwolf located at Gaddafi's summer palace. There they learn that Moffett is torturing Gabrielle in the Dunes. They rescue Airwolf and destroy the palace, then set out in pursuit of Moffett on the way finding a spent and dehydrated Gabrielle. Hawke is hell bent on revenge and after some fancy flying and destruction of enemy aircraft and ground personel find Moffett in a cheap in the sand dunes.

Moffett levels up attempting to fire a six shooter pistol into the aircrafts mid flight refuelling intake - something Moffett had told one of Gaddafi's senior officers after he had asked "In the desert the Jackal has many ways of killing it's prey, how does one kill a wolf?".

Hawke kills Moffett with a missile and empties one of the fourteen firepower options chambers on the rogue Doctor. That's basically the end of the movie leaving some unanswered questions.

What happened to the two co-pilots Moffett took with him? I don't think they were ever mentioned again, could have been written in to the television series, but I don't remember their names being mentioned. What happend to Gabrielle's body? Was it just left there in the desert?

The television series had some great episodes and some equally bad ones, especially in the last series. One of my favourites was Moffet's Ghost. Moffett's cunningly left a logic bomb in Airwolf's computer systems which rendered the helicopter useless until an expert was recruited to get rid of the virus. In the end they had to purge the machines systems to get control back, there was a slight flicker of a switch just after the purge that led the viewer to believe Airwolf would never be rid of Moffett completely, could have been made more use of in another story in my view. Dambreakers was a story about a crazy cult, sort of Dambusters with a twist. Severence Pay was another good episode were one of Hawke's friends is denied retirement benefits and in revenge threatens to divulge sensitive information. Sweet Britches in another of my favourites and introduces a new cast member Caitlin O' Shannessy (Jean Bruce Scott).

There are many great guest star appearances, notably Deborah Pratt as Morella, Archangles number two, she later directed episodes if memory serves me correct.

Sadly they killed off Santini and wrote out the original cast for season four (1987). Hawke is replaced by his brother St. John Hawke played by Barry Van Dyke. These episodes are not a patch on the earlier ones and I really lost interest.

The good side to the earlier shows was they often ended with a laugh or all round smile, the morals were good, good versus evil and the good will always win through in the end, also good "Old School acting".

I'm left thinking what would have happened if Airwolf could actually have flown itself.

Useful computers!

I was thinking this morning just as my computer froze on me whilst trying to access the internet how wondefully smart computers are nowadays.

It's wonderful when as a human being we are working on a word processor and it's time to close a document and yes you click on the red X and your smart machine pops up with a message saying "Document has changed, are you sure you want to close it?".

Now if I were a woman suffering from PMT's I could understand a flurry of expletives - of course I bleeping want to close the document, you bleeping, bleeping machine, I pushed the bleeping button you bleeping, bleeping idot!

My own mother talks to the microwave when it kindly beeps to remind her that it has finished cooking something, she also moans at the cooker when something boils over - it's the cookers fault of course, never the human operating the machine.

I look forward to the day when a computer actually answers a human back with speech.

You can only imagine the sorts of Basil Fawlty type arguments that will occur.  That bad tempered tennis player You cannot be bleeping serious can you, I bleeping told you to do that! Do bleeping argue with me.  Right your for the scrap heap then! 

Well for now enjoy using your HID (Human Interfacing Device) or more simply mouse.

The Day of the Dogs

It's finally done, my short story The Day of the Dogs is published.  Here is a brief extract.
 

“And finally the main news tonight!  This is the final broadcast by a human being as something major has happened in the last few hours.  The Dog Liberation Organisation (DLO) have joined together with The Monster Raving Dog Party (MRDP) and taken over number Ten Downing Street.  We go live to our correspondent Howard Stapleton outside Number Ten Downing Street”......................................

 

You can purchase the full story from my lulu store front.  Enjoy.

Computer keyboard Short cuts

Computer keyboard Short cuts

It never ceases to amaze me the number of people including some of my student's who do not know about keyboard short cuts on computers. The very first PC's never had a mouse to navigate the screen easily. For example the control key, located bottom left near the Microsoft key. My Dell keyboard is nicely designed and has two control or Ctrl keys, one at the left side and one at the right.

If you are using an application, say a word processor, then you can save time by pressing the Ctrl key and S together to either save your document to the hard drive or floppy disk. Other examples are Ctrl + P to print your document.

It is well worth checking out the keyboard short cuts, just in case your mouse fails, you will be surprised at what you can do.

Also when using word processors you can use the Home, End keys to get to the beginning of a line of text or the end of a paragraph. Likewise, the Page Up and Page Down keys to move the page, yes you guessed it up and or down.

I dare say that as with the touch screen mobile phones our PC screens will eventually go down that route and we will be able to touch icons to access the multitude of applications our computers are able to run. Unless voice recognition software gets to Star Trek perfection levels then there will be always a need for a computer keyboard.